How may I help you?

Father Ignatius was busily dealing with some paperwork in his office one afternoon when he was interrupted by the telephone ringing.

This in itself was not very unusual. Being an approachable person he was often contacted by his parishioners seeking advice about, or solace from, their troubles and worries.

Many a time his meals were interrupted by phone calls from someone or other in trouble; or his evenings watching his favorite football team on TV, or listening to classical music, were cut short by someone at the door in tears.

And as always, he would stop what he was doing and attend to the problem brought to his doorstep, or his telephone receiver.

So, this particular phone call in itself was not unusual; but what it was about certainly was.

Father Ignatius stopped reading the important letter from the Bishop and answered the call.

“Hello, St Vincent Church here. How may I help you?”

“Father Ignatius … is that you on the phone?” said the voice at the other end.

“It certainly is … who am I speaking to?”

“It’s me Father …” replied the panicked voice.

“I see … who is calling?” said the priest gently.

“It’s Eric … I attend church on Sunday!”

Father Ignatius knew Eric well. A nice young man, about 19 years old, from a good family, and not known to have been in any kind of problem or trouble before. So it was somewhat unusual to get a phone call from him.

“Hello Eric … how can I help you?” asked Father Ignatius.

“Father …” hesitated the voice at the other end, “is it OK to have confession on the phone?”

“It’s a bit unusual …” mumbled the priest quietly; thinking what could have led to this frantic phone call and such unusual request, “could it wait until Saturday?”

“No Father … it's urgent ... I am in London … with some friends …”

“I don’t understand …” continued Father Ignatius, trying to be helpful to this soul in torment, “have you done something terribly wrong Eric?”

“Yes Father … I have sinned terribly … and I need to confess … please forgive me …” said Eric obviously distressed.

“Alright Eric … calm down. Take a deep breath … now tell me. What is the matter? What have you done?”

At this point Father Ignatius said a silent prayer for the young man and asked God to help him say the right thing; and to come to Eric’s aid.

It was a habit the priest had developed every time someone sought his help or advice. Father Ignatius had learnt that a quick silent prayer for the one in need is often worth more than what he had to say on the matter.

He was really concerned for this young man on a day out in the Capital with friends. What could possibly have happened to warrant such a frantic phone call? What kind of trouble could he be in?

After a second or two’s silence Eric spoke calmly.

“I’m in London with some friends from college … and we’ve just been to a strip club … I know it’s a sin … please forgive me!”

Father Ignatius did not know whether to laugh or to cry. He had imagined the worst; and hearing Eric’s so-called confession came more as a relief than a surprise.

“OK … I understand Eric … we’ll talk about it on Saturday … consider yourself forgiven,” said a relieved Father Ignatius in the same gentle tone of voice, ensuring that it did not betray his true feelings.

“Oh thank you so much Father … one more thing please …” pleaded the young man.

“Yes Eric …” continued Father Ignatius with the patience of a Saint.

“We’re going to see an adult film this evening … can you forgive me for that too?”

Before the priest could answer, Eric continued down the phone.

“Can’t speak now Father … my friends are coming … I don’t want them to know I’ve been speaking with you. I’ll confess on Saturday … Bye!”

And the line went dead.

Father Ignatius pondered on the difficulties young people face these days to uphold their Christian principles. Here is a young man, out on the town with his friends; in a strange place he’d never visited before. They decide to do something which he knows to be sinful yet, somehow, he is led by them for fear of speaking out and standing his ground.

The priest sympathized with the young man’s dilemma. It takes a strong character indeed not to be led by one’s peers under these circumstances. And Eric was no such individual.

He was of course gentle with him at Confession on Saturday.

In the meantime, that phone call reminded Father Ignatius of a similar event which happened some months previously.

One of his parishioners, Mrs Simms, had told him that she had been invited to a wedding which was to take place on a Friday. She had seen the Menu for the Reception. Would it be OK, she asked, if she ate meat on that day? Would he absolve her in advance?

When the priest concurred with her, she asked with a smile: “Is it OK for my husband to eat meat too? Only he asked me to ask you on his behalf!”

Father Ignatius smiled as that thought crossed his mind and returned to reading the Bishop’s letter.

From the ridiculous to the sublime.

Liebster Award

Vicky has just awarded me and several other Bloggers the Liebster Award. Thank you very much Vicky for this great honour.

The rules to this Award are somewhat long and complicated. So I urge you to visit Vicky and have a good read of her wonderful Blog.

Vicky sets 11 Questions for the Award nominees to respond. So here goes:

1. What do you love most about Christmas?

The reality of Christmas. The reality that God chose to visit this earth as a human as well as God. He visited this earth so that we might see Him, hear Him, learn from Him and be healed and raised from the dead by Him. To be forgiven by Him and … hopefully, to believe in Him and trust Him.

2. What's the first thing you do when left alone in the house?

If I answered that honestly you’d all come round my house and look through the windows!

3. What's your favourite food for breakfast?

Two slices of bread with sliced tomatoes and lettuce. Hot milky coffee.

4. What's your usual exercise regime?

I have a treadmill at home, but I take it easy with my exercise. I only walk slowly along the width of the machine whilst it is switched OFF !!!

5. What's your idea of a perfection vacation?

Working in the garden if it is sunny. Writing if it is not.

6. What sort of neighbour are you?

My neighbours enjoy my playing of the bagpipes. They have broken all our windows to hear me better.

To be honest, I am very frightened of my neighbours – well, the wife to be precise. She is very tall and thin and white-faced with long black hair all down her back. None on her head … just down her back. She looks like one of those women you see in spooky scary movies. She never smiles and can turn a man to stone by just staring at him. Last time she visited us for a garden party the birds got so scared they returned all the seeds they took from me the previous year.

So to answer the question … I am a scared neighbour.

7. If you were an animal, what sort of animal would you be?

 

8. What would you like to change most about yourself?

My vest and socks!

9. What is your favourite hobby?

Sitting down.

10. How would you describe your signature?

Slow hesitant handwriting. This is because I often have to check the spelling of my surname.

11. What do you see when you look in other people's faces?

It depends if I’ve been drinking or not. Do you know I get the same effect as drinking by just taking my spectacles off? Everything is blurred … cheaper too.

I am prejudiced

A few days ago I spent the morning at an old lady’s house waiting for the doctor to make a house-call.

Eventually the door bell rang and standing there was a young man in his late twenties wearing yellow jeans, a tartan style red shirt with no tie, and a sports jacket.

“I’m doctor Grange,” said he.

I let him in without a word and the old lady said: “You’re not Doctor Stuart; he’s my doctor you know!”

“Doctor Stuart is away, I’m new with the medical practice,” replied the young man as I left the room to give them some privacy.

As I waited in the hall I thought about this young man and, I must confess, I took an instant dislike to him. A doctor in jeans, indeed! And so young, what can he possibly know about medicine; he’s probably hardly ever practiced, still in diapers and just out of school.

Then it occurred to me. A light bulb switched on within my head and a message flashed in huge letters.

What a terrible thing prejudice is.
Just because he is young doesn’t make him a bad doctor. He’s probably the best qualified from his University and since he must have recently entered into practice his knowledge must be really up to date. Unlike an older doctor perhaps. (More prejudice.)

And so what if he’s wearing jeans? He’s probably off-duty and was advised by his practice to visit this old lady in the absence of her regular doctor. He obviously doesn’t attend work dressed like that.

You know, it’s human nature to be prejudiced. We all have our likes and dislikes and we react differently to peoples’ appearances, attire, age, accents, and the multitude of other feelings we have towards each other.

We’d do well to be aware of this part of our human nature and learn to keep it under control.

When Jesus walked this earth, He must have met many poor people whose clothes were dirty and torn. Lepers too, as well as prostitutes and evil-doers of all kinds. He didn’t use our prejudices in order to avoid them and judge them.

Instead, He used pity, compassion and love to help them to a better life.

Afew days later I had reason to take the same elderly lady to the doctor's; and I met Doctor Grange again.

Although it was a fairly warm day, Doctor Grange wore a suit and tie.

However, he had not aged much since the previous Wednesday.

I'll keep an eye on him to ensure he remedies the situation.

Welcome to hell

Well, I hope the title of this post has captured your attention for the next minute or so.

Whatever you conceive it to be, hell does exist all right! It may be an ever-burning everlasting fire mixed with the acrid smell of burning flesh and sulphur. Or it may be just a state of consciousness in the total absence of God’s presence and love.

When I was at school, many moons ago, a schoolboy described hell as being upside-down for eternity in a pile of manure. Now, there’s an image you’d probably never thought of. 

And as sure as hell exists we can be certain that the devil exists too.

He is not just a euphemism for evil, wickedness and wrong-doings. He is a living being, with us here and now, every day, and intent on the destruction of souls.

As Christians we cannot possibly believe in God and not believe in the devil. Yet, sadly for us, and fortunately for him, he has been cleverly air-brushed away from our sermons and our churches and our lives.

When is the last time you heard a sermon on Sunday about the dangers of the devil? I haven’t for at least a lifetime!

Yet, the devil belongs to the priest’s sermon as surely as God does.

You wouldn’t expect to drive on a perilous road without any warning signs of sharp bends, steep hills, and blind corners, would you? Yet we seem happy to live our lives oblivious of the very existence of a cunning and dangerous enemy ever eager to lead us to damnation when we least expect it.

There are indeed people who believe in the devil to the point of worshipping him. Whilst I cannot understand why anyone should wish to do so, at least I acknowledge their honesty in so doing; which is more honest than the millions of so-called Christians who attend church every Sunday yet don’t know exactly what to believe.

In December 2007, I understand, the Pope issued a directive to the Church to train and appoint priest exorcists in every Diocese to combat the spread of Satanism.

Well, at least he believes in the devil and is prepared to do something about it.

More pertinent point, do we Christians everywhere, regardless of denomination, actually believe in the existence of the devil as a living being; or do we espouse the milder euphemism of what he represents?

Are there millions of Christians everywhere sleep-walking their way into hell?

The consequence of being Ernest

Take my advice friends, if ever you want anything done do not ask Ernest to do it.

Ernest is a nice enough member of our church always eager to volunteer to do anything that’s needed, although he doesn’t always get it quite right. That aside, we normally let him do all sorts of jobs as long as there’s someone else to supervise him in case he does it all wrong.

Sadly a prominent member of our church died recently. He was very elderly, lived alone and was a member of our choir. A few of us got together to set up a committee to work out the funeral arrangements. The deceased had no family, nor much funds, so we decided to take it upon ourselves to make the arrangements for his final journey from this valley of tears.

As expected, Ernest joined the committee. We all met and discussed various arrangements. The Order of Service, hymns, choir, burial and so on. At one point someone suggested that it would be a nice gesture if, as the deceased was lowered into the ground, all those standing around the grave would release white doves into the air as a symbol of peace.

What?

I’ve never heard of such a thing. White doves at a funeral? By the graveside?

I was about to protest when the suggestion was quickly picked up by others and before I could speak they’d all agreed it was a brilliant idea.

Ernest volunteered to obtain the white doves at little expense from a friend of his; and the decision was made and agreed in the minutes of the meeting.

On the day in question, as we all stood around the grave, there stood Ernest with a large box in his hands.

At the appropriate time he opened the box and started handing out white gloves to all around him!

You should have seen their faces.

Well done Ernest … clean your ears next time before volunteering.

Temptation

Father Ignatius read the Gospel according to Matthew, Chapter 4 Verses 1-11.

He waited a few moments for the congregation to sit down and then he continued:

“The devil appeared at the local supermarket one Saturday morning. He stood there by the main entrance looking menacingly and threatening. All the shoppers panicked. They escaped through every available emergency exits, jumped into their cars and drove off at speed.

“All except for one shopper. A small, short man, standing there by his shopping trolley holding a long shopping list in his hand.

“The devil advanced towards the small man and said angrily: ‘Do you know who I am?’

“ ‘Yes … I do’ replied the shopper.

“ ‘Aren’t you afraid of me like all the others?’ asked the devil.

“ ‘No … I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years!’ ”

Father Ignatius waited until the laughter died down, and then went on:

“The devil of course is no laughing matter. He exists alright, although his greatest trick is to convince us otherwise.

“If you were to ask people in the street what do they know about the devil, they would probably tell you about satanic worship, or satan possessing people, as they may have seen in the cinema. Some may mention a man with horns, a tail and pitchfork. But few would tell you of his existence and presence here and now.

“We Christians cannot possibly believe in God and not believe in the devil.

“Satan is amongst us every day of our lives and his task is simple; to lead us astray from the Lord.

“He doesn’t appear menacingly as he did in the supermarket in our opening story.

“No … he is more subtle than that. He is present in our most innocent and slightest temptation; when we least expect him.

“He is that extra bar of chocolate we indulge in, that extra bottle of beer or glass of wine, that cigarette or whatever other weakness we may have.

“He is that tiredness and sleepiness on Sunday morning which tells you it does not matter if you miss Mass this week.

“He is those extra minutes you take for lunch instead of being back at work on time; or the leaving early to go home.

“He is the odd flirtatious smile, which in time may lead you further on.

“And that’s how it starts my friends. A few minor indiscretions here and there which by themselves may mean nothing to you; but they’re the first stepping stones for the evil one.

“His subtleness and ingenuity are worthy of high praise indeed; for he tempts you when you least expect it.

“And the more devout you are the harder he works to get you off track. He will put doubts and worries in your mind where none existed before.

“Right now for instance, I suspect he is most annoyed to see so many of you here in church instead of somewhere else. Especially as the sun is shining and I’m sure you have so many more important things to do … or so he’ll tell you!

“I will not go on and give satan more publicity than he deserves. But let me say that if he had the audacity to tempt our Lord, as we have read in the Gospel, he will not shy away from tempting us.

“Like Jesus did, we must tell the devil: ‘Go away satan’. And pray again and again that the Lord may come to our aid and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Interview with my brain

Me: Well … that’s interesting … I’m talking to my brain.

Brain: I would prefer it if you did not call me “my brain”.

Me: What would you like me to call you?

Brain: I am your consciousness.

Me: Hein?

Brain: Your consciousness … you’ve heard the saying to be conscious is to be aware that you exist. Is a dog or cat aware that he exists? Does he know he is a dog? Or does he act through instincts? You are aware you exist … you’re conscious. If you prefer you can call me the soul! That’s what most people choose to call their inner self.

Me: Wow … this is getting complicated.

Soul: It isn’t. Let’s look at it another way. Imagine we have a car. It goes forwards, backwards, left and right, slow or fast. It doesn’t do this by itself. The driver inside it makes it move or stop.

The car is your body, and the driver inside it is me … your soul. The brain is merely the engine of the car. It’s an organ which receives and sends information to the other organs or components such as the heart, liver, kidneys, ears and eyes and so on. Just like the engine of the car receives information from the steering wheel, the driving pedal and the brakes and sends it to the wheels.

The soul is the driver, the body is the car, and the brain and other organs are just components.

Me: Wow once again … I never thought of it that way.

Soul: I was put in the car … your body … the moment you were created. When you were born. I accumulate knowledge over the years based on the surroundings and environment I am in, the love and care I receive from other souls, my up-bringing, my education and lots of other factors. And with all this information I am free to steer the body anyway I like … with me in it of course.

Me: Free to steer the body … I never thought of it that way.

Soul: Yes … the soul is the main driver and is responsible for all actions taken throughout the journey. Whether to go left or right, to do good or bad and so on. I am influenced by many factors as I’ve explained but the final decision and responsibility for the journey is mine.

Me: You mean up-bringing, education and all these things!

Soul: That’s not all … I am also influenced by a Higher Being … my Creator … mostly known as God. He advises me just as a driver would have a passenger next to him showing him the way. The driver is free to accept the advice or go his own way … perhaps influenced by … shall we say … other not so good advice!

Me: Wow once more … for the third time.

Soul: And as the journey goes on … over the years the car gets worn out and tired, perhaps damaged along the way, until the time comes when it can go on no more. That’s when it’s time for me to get out and go to meet my Creator.

Me: Why?

Soul: To tell Him how I got on with my journey. And depending on that He will hopefully give me a prize!